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u/Unnoble_Savage Mar 24 '23
Mine is the god of fire, and everything burns
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u/swordofra Mar 24 '23
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want You to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
... But He loves you!
‐ George Carlin. RIP
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u/TheSquishiestMitten Mar 24 '23
You left out the rest of the quote.
"... He loves you. And he needs money."
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u/brandimariee6 Mar 24 '23
I read all of that in his voice! I would love to hear what he has to say about the world today, but I’m glad he doesn’t have to suffer through it
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u/pogUrick Mar 24 '23
He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!
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u/caffeine_man Mar 24 '23
He's seems to forget that there were times God had to be not kind at all. The Old Testament is filled with some good examples.
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u/KaijyuAboutTown Mar 24 '23 edited Mar 24 '23
And when they apologize for the Old Testament, stating the New Testament supersedes the ‘unpleasant’ parts, remind them that the only place were same sex intercourse is mentioned and condemned is in the Old Testament in Leviticus 18. So clearly that’s been over written and LBGTQ enjoy the full support of the churches… oh well.
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u/GiftGrouchy Mar 26 '23
No, no, no. That part wasn’t superseded. Just the parts that say what I do is wrong where. The stuff that condemns what I don’t like/agree with are still completely relevant
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u/Taeyx Mar 24 '23
you know i agree with him. i remember one time, i was taken hostage, and they said “do what we say, or you’ll go to a place to be tortured for all of eternity.” they were the most loving people i ever met.
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u/the-dogsox Mar 24 '23
Also pretty busy giving aids to African babies. Maybe that’s why he’s never got time to help me find my car keys.
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u/SkullRunner Mar 24 '23
Naa, always too busy blessing both sides of pro sports games to win.
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u/Ferropexola Mar 24 '23
Both teams: praying for the win.
God: wanting them to hurry up and start the damn game.
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u/SilverWolfIMHP76 Mar 24 '23
In 2020, there were around 4,963 choking deaths in the United States.
Who ever designed the human breathing/food intake system has no idea how much of a mistake that was. Other creatures have much better systems like Whales who have a mouth and a blow hole for breathing.
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u/IForgotThePassIUsed Mar 24 '23
Loving me with that sweet sweet damnation and eternal fire because I eat Shellfish and have Gay friends.
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u/Mission_Tax_3032 Mar 24 '23
"god doesnt make mistakes"
alphabetical list of diseases, mental illnesses and parasites
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u/VoltasPistol Mar 24 '23
alphabetical list of things that aren't strictly speaking diseases but are just the body seemingly working as intended but cause everything from age-related disability to untimely death
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u/KaiserHohenzollernV Mar 24 '23
It was just a prank
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u/MartianGuard Mar 24 '23
And so is this! pulls lever and you fall into the firey depths for all eternity ROFL
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u/green_jp Mar 24 '23
I'd laugh so hard if I were Noah tbh, imagine some voice from the sky just shows up outta nowhere and says "build a fucking boat for a pair of every single animal there is". I'd just say "hell nah, just go ahead and flood it all, do your thing."
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u/KaijyuAboutTown Mar 24 '23
I always wonder if these people have actually read the Bible and understood it. It’s a horror story. Genocide, matricide, patricide, infanticide, regicide, rape, incest, kidnapping, rampant misogyny (let the women be silent!)… all in there… all directed by God. How about the long list of death penalties, many for ‘infractions’ that are committed routinely in today’s society?
Here’s the heads up. IF YOU CHERRY PICK VERSES FROM THE BIBLE, YOUR FAITH IS BASED ON YOUR OWN PREFERENCES AND PREJUDICES, NOT THE INSPIRED WORD OF GOD AS PRESENTED BY THE BIBLE.
Nope, not interested. Best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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u/Crooked_Cock Mar 24 '23
What do you mean? Rampant misogyny and death penalties for minor offenses are like 90% of the substance that makes up most conservative/religious fundamentalist political platforms, they’re just as hateful as their god and actively follow his teachings, those teachings being to make “non-believers” suffer
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u/KaijyuAboutTown Mar 24 '23
I’ll rephrase (my paraphrase of Mark Twain)… “Best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible if you actually give a damn about the people around you. If all you want to do is promote your own hatred of others, the Bible can easily provide you a context”
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u/Amnosia_carrier Mar 24 '23
Oh yeah! The invisible sky wizard who, let’s see… Wiped two cities of the map for being too gay and turned a woman to salt for looking back at the burning wreckage, Had his followers slaughter an entire people down to the last infant because they could “corrupt” his “chosen,” Flooded the entire world because humanity was being shitty, and how could we forget the time he killed a man just for touching the ark of the covenant when it was about to fall into the mud. Yep! He FUCKING LOVES YOU!
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u/tmdblya Mar 24 '23
So good to hear a Christian say we should love people the way God made them, cuz God don’t make mistakes! /s
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u/alexbro001 Mar 24 '23
This is also the guy who blamed Hurricane Katrina on gay people. I’m curious how that fits in with this tweet
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u/ever-right Mar 24 '23
Source of light? Shit it's the source of all life.
You couldn't have plants without it. No plants, no animals that eat plants. No animals that eat plants, no animals that eat animals.
And yeah, it gives us fucking cancer.
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u/ghostsintherafters Mar 24 '23
I love how God is too wise to make a mistake, and yet they choose to go out and harass gay and trans people on a daily basis as if they're an abomination from God. So I ask which one is it? Did your God fuck up or not?
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u/ItWasAllADream434 Mar 24 '23
they will just tell you it’s free will and although god gave commandments free will would still be the reason those who choose to lived a ‘sinful” life
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u/BlueshineKB Mar 24 '23
I love that one tweet where its like “atheists without a god how do u stay morally correct” or something and a guy responds “if god is ur reason to be a good person, ur not a good person”
Just reminds me of how stupid christianity is
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u/phoenix14830 Mar 25 '23 edited Mar 25 '23
Your God that is too wise to make a mistake makes gays, transgenders, cripples, pedophiles, etc which the people in your congregation have no problem voting for politicians who openly persecute these people. All of this while happily feeling morally righteous because they aren't the ones persecuted.
...and I don't mean to suggest the actions of pedophiles are moral or acceptable, but they don't choose the desires God gave them, they choose the actions they do or do not take. Wildly imperfect people from a perfect God?
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u/AutomaticLynx9407 Mar 24 '23
Literally anything in too great an amount will kill you
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u/hehehuehue Mar 24 '23
Came here to say this, great amount of cure can kill.
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u/MeatTornadoGold Mar 24 '23
Oh, so when a 4 year old has leukemia? Don't these ducks say it's part of his plan? Morons.
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u/Serious_Ad4950 Mar 25 '23
Dude let us sin and we sinned so hard he had to kill himself to make it right again.
I’ll take things that can be tested and repeated, thanks.
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u/HomieScaringMusic Mar 24 '23
Ackshyually God gave us the ozone layer, nature’s sunscreen. We gave ourselves greenhouse gasses. God gave us brains so we could figure out what we were doing wrong and shift to renewables, and instead we elected- you know what I’ll just stop
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u/zebediabo Mar 25 '23
Our source of light runs the entirety of the planet with no cost, and we're precisely where we need to be to not end up burnt or frozen. Our atmosphere and magnetic poles protect us from lethal radiation and destructive magnetic pulses. It's a pretty awesome setup.
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u/ChaoticDetectivePech Mar 25 '23
Ok but that's not true cuz atoms, but also even if it was we'd have just evolved different life under different circumstances
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u/zebediabo Mar 25 '23
Not true because of atoms?
That's definitely not true. Without specific conditions, life cannot exist. That's true whether you believe it evolved or was created. It's why every other planet we've found is utterly dead. Too much radiation, and life dies. Not enough heat, and life dies. Too much heat, and life dies. The wrong planet composition, and life dies. There's a multitude of factors that need to align for life to exist. Those requirements only increase for more complex life. Earth is pretty awesome. It's like a life sanctuary in a hostile universe.
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u/ChaoticDetectivePech Mar 25 '23
Atoms run the entirety of life, more specifically electrons, without electrons none of this world be possible because nothing would ever react with anything else, hence, no sun, no water, no life, atoms are the most basic of basic. Without them nothing would exist
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u/zebediabo Mar 25 '23
I feel like you missed my point entirely. Let me put it another way: the sun's atoms give energy to the earth's atoms. Without the sun's atoms, our atoms would never form what we call life.
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u/ChaoticDetectivePech Mar 25 '23
The atoms that make up earth are also the same atoms that make up the sun
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u/zebediabo Mar 25 '23
No, the sun's atoms are the sun's, and the earth's are the earth's. It's not that complicated. Without the sun's atoms, we wouldn't be alive.
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u/ChaoticDetectivePech Mar 25 '23
Well there are only a set number of elements, and the sun is made up of the same stuff as the earth
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u/zebediabo Mar 25 '23
Yes, but the sun's atoms are organized in a way that allows naturally occurring nuclear fusion, from which all life on earth draws energy, directly or indirectly. The sun powers the earth. Its gravity even keeps us flying through space on a safe and steady course.
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u/ChaoticDetectivePech Mar 25 '23
Idk if you know this but we'd still be moving if it wasn't for the sun, and yes but bold of you to assume that atoms wouldn't just organize a different way if the sun wasn't there
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u/Pink_Sky_ Mar 24 '23
Ya well, even if god is real, and he is doin’ all that work, it don’t mean he’s workin’ for you…
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u/BoomTown1873 Mar 25 '23
The rivers are full of crocodile nasties and He who made kittens put snakes in the grass. He's a lover of life but a player of pawns
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u/HibouOwll Mar 26 '23
"too wise to make a mistake" Then why do you were glasses?
"too loving to be unkind" Why is there Hell then?
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u/dethaxe Mar 24 '23
As someone who lost their wife to cancer and hearing church folks say that that's part of God's plan, I can strongly say that's bullshit.